The Greeks and the eventually the Romans were infatuated with everything about the Spartans, especially their words. You can find choice quotes throughout the works of Herodotus, Thucydides, and Xenophon, but no one was a greater admirer than Plutarch. Mixed in with his numerous writings were the Sayings of Spartans and the Sayings of Spartan Women, which were just books of quotes. Sometimes there was a setup for context, but the quote was always short, blunt, and often witty.
As classicist Paul Cartledge points out, the Spartans “perfected the curt, clipped, military mode of utterance, which they used alike in sending written or oral dispatches from the front or in snappy repartee to an insistent teacher at home.” ((Paul Cartledge, “What Have the Spartans Done for Us?: Sparta’s Contribution to Western Civilization,” Greece & Rome 51, no. 2 (2004): 169.)) Among classicists, they identify the speaking style as “laconic,” referring to the Lacedaemonian region where ancient Sparta resides.
Today, most of these quotes can fit into a 140-character tweet. Here is a sample of how it would look.
Outside of one-liners, Spartan replies were even more entertaining. When someone asked King Agesilaus how far Sparta’s boundaries reached, he pulled out his spear and said, “As far as this can reach.” That tweet would have included a photo.
Or how about Leonidas’s legendary response to lay down his arms?
@_one_true_king_ Come and take them! pic.twitter.com/pirnsSjrxu
— King Leonidas (@_king_leo1) April 2, 2016
The Spartans would have ruled Twitter with their laconic style of speaking.