Against all odds, I went to see Flyboys. The critics hated it, my wife refused to go, and all of my friends had better things to do. That is, all of my friends except poor Derek. He was as dumb as me and had nothing to do on a Sunday night. We both left our families and paid money to see this stink of movie called Flyboys.
How could we resist though? The movie is about World War I. When is the last time a movie was made about that war? And the special effects looked decent.
The breakdown of this movie is simple. Before America officially entered the war, some Americans volunteered to join France’s air force to help them against the Germans.
Aside from a few cool airplane scenes, there is nothing redeemable about this movie. It has “made for TV” written all over it with more cliches than near-misses in a dogfight.
Get it?
The movie has got it all: A John Wayne-eque hero, a heartless villain, a black guy, a rich guy who hates black guys, and the guy who has nothing to live for until he falls for a French girl.
The lame love story that ensues is agonizing. Neither of them speak each others’ language. So we get to watch the worn-out routine of two idiots trying to communicate with each other by playing charades. The French girl does eventually learn a little English. As she tries to maintain the French accent and act like she’s struggling for English words, she sounds like a broad with down syndrome.
Between each 2-3 minute dogfight segment is 10-20 minutes of “story line” with an ending is so ridiculous that the action scenes of Commando seemed more plausible.
All-in-all, I would have happily paid three bucks just to watch the 20 minutes of computer animated dog-fighting and saved myself more than an hour and a half of agony.
The real sad part is there are so few World War I movies. It’s a “forgotten war” right next to its friend Korea. There are still a good amount of veterans left from World War II, Korea, and Vietnam, but World War I is pretty much all left to the history books. The real story of the Flyboys is one that is intriguing, but movies like this will ensure that their memory is forgotten.
Good job, Flyboys. You killed history.