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Director: Chuck Russell
Release Date: April 19, 2002
Rating: PG-13 (for intense sequences of action violence and some sensuality)
See it on Amazon
 Editor's Note: This review was originally posted almost a year ago, but was lost when we took the site to a new archiving system. I just came across it and couldn't help but revive it since we talked so much trash about the movie anyway.
Who is this movie about anyway?
You've got to wonder if Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson knows who he is anymore. Most of his public life has been spent entertaining the millions and millions of fans that watch him lay the smack down on his fellow wrestlers. Johnson has rarely appeared in public as anything but The Rock, until recently.
In a promotion frenzy that could tire the fittest of pro-wrestlers, Johnson has made appearance after appearance on shows as a laid-back average guy. He is introduced as The Rock, but he sure doesn't act like The Rock we know from WWF. No, he seems like a normal person who would rather bake with Martha Stewart than slam a chair into her head.
Now Johnson is The Scorpion King in the prequel to The Mummy series. Is it believable? Not really. Partly due to the script, which caters to the star playing the leading role, we don't see the Scorpion King so much as we see Dwayne Johnson playing The Rock playing the Scorpion King. With predictable (and cheesy) lines making up most of the dialog, this movie quickly became nothing more than a promotional show for The Rock. This is a sad case of weak characterization as a result of writing the script around an actor's personality rather than for the sake of the story being portrayed. Johnson probably could have played a better role with a script written purely about the life and times of the Scorpion King. Instead, we are given a glimpse of what The Rock would have been like if he had lived thousands of years ago.
The plot and characters are lame too
The cast, consisting of the silly sidekick, the cutthroat villain, the goofy gadgets guy, the troublesome-yet-endearing kid, and the hot heroine, among other canned stereotypes, are all strung on a plot line so thin that it was given away in the thirty-second promo. The writers of The Scorpion King in their rush to base so much of the story off of The Rock should have at least learned one valuable thing from the writer's at WWF: throw in a surprise every now and then.
The Rock as Mathayus is the last of his nomadic people, the Arcadians. In a time before the pyramids were built, an evil warlord is trying to conquer the world. His conquest is nearing completion, but there are still a few pockets a resistance left. Mathayus and a small band of people become determined to slay the warlord and restore peace to the land. This is no easy task since the warlord rules with the aid of a beautiful, scantily clad sorceress who can predict the future. Will The Rock, uh, I mean Mathayus defeat the warlord and win over the sorceress? I'd hate to ruin the movie for you.
If you're expecting to find a movie similar to The Mummy or The Mummy Returns, you'll be sorely disappointed. What you will get is a bunch of slow motion battle sequences that appear to exist solely for the camera to capture every angle of The Rock's muscular physique. You'll also get plenty of slapstick style fighting and cheap laughs, turning this movie into a semi-comedy (that is, if you find people getting skewered to the sound of a squeezing sponge funny).
The Rock - Dwayne Johnson, Scorpion King, whatever - needs to stick to his night job of throwing people around the ring, because he's doing a horrible job picking out a good movie script. (After this review was written, The Rock went on the record to say that he is not eager to abandon wrestling just yet.)
Related Links:
The Scorpion King's Official Site
WWF is fake? So is Lord of the Rings.
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